CHINGU

i dont know why but i feel like i dont have friends at all... not that im lonely but all 'friends' i've got just doesnt feel like friend. is it bcuz the way i treat them or they treating me? not that frequent of thinking like this but when it hits me,it hurts. seeing my ex-classmates posting pictures of them going outing somewhere or even meet each other make me feel jealous. why cant i experience something like that too? is it bcuz i always declined their offers? i feel so jealous... is it my fault?